Lose 30 Pounds in 30 Days
Susan H. Case
Simonides of Ceos,
the first to be paid for poetry.
Let’s face it, this hasn’t
happened too often since 500 B.C., better
for me to write a diet book,
its weightiness—one hundred
recipes for leeks,
the importance of ending
meals while hungry.
Quick fix: select an obvious deprivation,
to be slim, self-inflict it.
I’d guess Simonides
wasn’t a stickler for weight control,
might not leave halfway through the launch
party for the celebrity diet guru.
To hell with Castor and Pollux
when the Clicquot’s flowing liberally.
She’s a genius for publicity: Practical Advice
for How to Starve Elegantly. OK,
Can’t eat that little.
Can’t write that much.
Poets use words more sparingly.
But, appetite for meter
can’t be that fattening—keeps the purse
so fashionably skinny.
It’s just important not to be present
when the roof caves in.
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