portion of the artwork for Claire Scott's poem

Which Version
Claire Scott

I want to shuffle the deck & start again
discarding the jokers that wink & grin
I want to hurl the I Ching coins across the room
too much water above thunder (difficulty)
too much earth beneath heaven (stagnation)
I want to rearrange the runes/ruins of my life
create a new version
where the past is no longer my future
pulling me back &
back with bony claws
a life of endless reruns
he said, she said, he left
she said she didn’t but she did
I saw her

in this version
I am the sole curator
only new paintings, pottery, poetry,
moments & memories
in the other version, the old version
a skeletal child lies in a hospital bed
erasing the edges of herself
in this version she runs the quarter mile
to a high school championship
the crowd erupts in cheers
can a too thin girl run? ever?
in the old version a woman
tightens the tourniquet on her arm
scored & scarred with desperation
in this version she laughs with
her daughter when Max returns from
the Wild Things & his supper is still hot
no way to get there from here

is this me, might it be me
in a second version …
in a different version …
in a separate version …
I don’t recognize anything
there is only one version
this one must not be mine

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FRiGG: A Magazine of Fiction and Poetry | Issue 50 | Fall/Winter 2017